Thursday, April 10, 2008

Life changes


I've been struggling for the past three weeks with a life changing decision that I had to make for me and my son, Ryan. He had been getting into trouble at school until the time came that it was best for him to leave me and start a new life with his dad in Texas. So last Wednesday, we packed up all his belongings into his little 2 door Chevy Cavalier and he left with his Aunt Robin for the 12 hour drive to Texas. It was hard letting go of my little man. After all, it was just us two on and off since his dad left us when Ryan was 5 years old. No matter what, through thick and thin, the two of us faced life's ups and downs together. But as most teenage boys struggle to find their identity and gain independence, they also become rebellious. It was that rebellion that led us to the decision to send him to his dad's. His dad is happy to have the chance to spend what little is left of Ryan's childhood with him and to try to make a positive impact on Ryan's life. Ryan is also looking forward to spending time with his dad, which, in years past, has been spotty at best. The whole time Ryan's been growing up, his dad and I have never lived in the same state except when I came to Missouri 5 years ago, hopeful that his dad and I could be in one place to parent Ryan. But, Ryan's dad landed in jail for a year and a half of that time and as soon as he got out, moved to Texas. So, again, we were in separate states. Ryan's dad has since gotten his life together and can now offer Ryan stability and structure/discipline that Ryan will accept. Ryan had a hard time accepting discipline from Eric for the obvious reason that Eric is not his father. I had a hard time administering discipline for the guilt I harbored of the situation that Ryan had to grow up as the product of our divorce. So finally, after many bitter tears, Ryan is gone.


13 comments:

inara said...

I will pray for your situation!

C70 said...

{{{HUGS}}} Tree! I'm sure it will be for the best! God bless!

Anne said...

As a mother your post brought tears to my eyes. We always want to do what is best for our children, no matter how much it hurts us. You and Ryan are in my prayers.

joybear said...

(((HUGS))) another friend of mine just went through this...really breaks my heart. I can only imagine how how this must be. mor ((HUGS)))

Margie H said...

Oh, T! Just came on to your blog today...BIG (((HUGS)) first of all.

I can only imagine what you & Ryan had to go through to make this decision. Maybe it is a good thing for him to explore and discover things - be it alone or with the help of his father. There's never a right or wrong answer to something like this.

But know that I will be thinking of you all and sending some positive thoughts your way! Hang in there, my friend!

xoxoxo

Lisa said...

I was going to say something there Theresa, but then decided to email it to you.

Hugs my friend!

Lisa

sollie said...

(((hugs)))

Jude said...

I am really praying for you and have an e-mail to you on this topic, but couldn't quite get all my thoughts together...forgive me!

~Cheryl said...

Oh girl... sending you lots of *hugs*, love, and prayers to get you thru this time.

I'll be thinking of you guys...

Morgan said...

Oh sweetie, Ryan isn't gone, just staying somewhere else for now. You know he'll be back, probably sooner than you think! You have my email if you need it, hugs!!!

Lacintha said...

Oh my goodness T...I'm so sorry to read this.I had no idea...Hun, get on Yahoo mess and we'll have a chat okay???

{{{big hugs}}}

RobinV said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. Hopefully things will work out quickly for the best

Robin

Gaspegirl said...

(((hugs))) What strength you have!

My work