I've been struggling for the past three weeks with a life changing decision that I had to make for me and my son, Ryan. He had been getting into trouble at school until the time came that it was best for him to leave me and start a new life with his dad in Texas. So last Wednesday, we packed up all his belongings into his little 2 door Chevy Cavalier and he left with his Aunt Robin for the 12 hour drive to Texas. It was hard letting go of my little man. After all, it was just us two on and off since his dad left us when Ryan was 5 years old. No matter what, through thick and thin, the two of us faced life's ups and downs together. But as most teenage boys struggle to find their identity and gain independence, they also become rebellious. It was that rebellion that led us to the decision to send him to his dad's. His dad is happy to have the chance to spend what little is left of Ryan's childhood with him and to try to make a positive impact on Ryan's life. Ryan is also looking forward to spending time with his dad, which, in years past, has been spotty at best. The whole time Ryan's been growing up, his dad and I have never lived in the same state except when I came to Missouri 5 years ago, hopeful that his dad and I could be in one place to parent Ryan. But, Ryan's dad landed in jail for a year and a half of that time and as soon as he got out, moved to Texas. So, again, we were in separate states. Ryan's dad has since gotten his life together and can now offer Ryan stability and structure/discipline that Ryan will accept. Ryan had a hard time accepting discipline from Eric for the obvious reason that Eric is not his father. I had a hard time administering discipline for the guilt I harbored of the situation that Ryan had to grow up as the product of our divorce. So finally, after many bitter tears, Ryan is gone.
